Thoughts

I know what your thinking. Here she goes again…..
Wellll yes here I go again but I think for a good reason.
I have over the years kept mostly to myself and not been a very open person. I have learned to do this because of interactions with people.

Let me start at the beginning.
I was brought up on a farm in the country away from all city life. Once a week my Mom would have someone, usually my older brothers drive her to the big city to do shopping. Why didn’t she drive herself? My father wouldn’t let her learn to drive. Women had a place. (wink) It was ok having to get up early miss cartoons and go grocery shopping as a kid. Not something I treasure but I never questioned doing it. In fact I never questioned much of anything. I took what I was told at face value and truth. I was taught to never lie for any reason. I was taught to never steal. I was taught a lot of things like that. This has stuck with me though out my whole life. I never did drugs or even drank. I never was allowed to go to parties in high school. In fact I was barely allowed to date and that was under very strict rules. This on top of always being the kid that was looked down on at school and was never with the “in” crowd. Everything I did was wrong because it didn’t fit in with what the other kids wanted at the time even though they may have just done it.
I couldn’t wait to get out from under my parents rule so I married at 18. I had a baby at 24 and another at 30. I was married for 25 years and then divorced a man who wasn’t too bad if you liked being alone a lot and waiting for him to come home drunk 90% of the time. After he had scared my youngest child after a drunken spree I decided that was enough and divorced him.
Now we come to present time. I met a nice man who seemed to have his head on straight. He cared for kids, friends and family. I wasn’t a beauty queen and that didn’t matter to him. He wanted someone who could keep up with him in conversation. He wanted someone who wasn’t going to screw him over. Someone who had the same morals about things he did. For some reason he thought I fit what he was looking for. Now I know I have the same morals and all that but I don’t understand how he thinks I keep up with him in conversations when I know he knows so much more!
Anyways I moved in with him which was a surprise to a lot of his friends and they seemed to resent me being with him. I would go to the same places he had always gone to but never felt welcomed by most of his friends. He would explain it as they have to get use to me first. After a couple of years I stopped trying to get to know his friends. I figure after this amount of time nothing was going to change so why bother. He told me they felt like I was keeping him away from them. I never understood this and really still don’t. I never asked him to give up any of his friends even the ones who would talk about me to him trying to make me look bad. (Yes he told me about this and showed me the letters) Even today I never tell him he cannot see these people. I am just not that way. In fact I feel that family and friends are a very important part of life.

So any way to get back to why I started this who damn thing…..
I was taught early in life by my father that if you have a friend who makes a stand and you believe in that stand you should stand with them. You support them. Family most importantly you stand by. In the early 60s my Father’s brother had a son who was involved with the Mafia. The Mafia was coming out to this Uncle’s house to get his son. He called my Dad and older brother to help him. Dad and my older brother did. They were waiting for the Mafia as they drove up with all the guns laid out with all the ammo. (Father and co were big hunters). Needless to say the family turned out just fine and everything was taken care of.
So even with the danger that there was my Father stood by his brother. My Father did this for true friends also. This is how I was brought up and I still believe today. I will not think twice to take you out if you try to hurt one of my family. I wish I could say that about friends but no one has bothered to take the time to know me.
As was said in a movie…. “I can be your best friend or your worst enemy”

I think in the times ahead of us we are going to have to be thinking more on standing by our family and friends. We are going to have to hang tough and have to know who our real friends and family are.
Do you know me???????